Hyde has been using dating apps and sites on and off for six years.“But on the other hand, Tinder just doesn’t feel efficient.The question is not if they work, because they obviously can, but how well do they work? “I have not had luck with dating or finding relationships.”“I think the way I’ve used it has made it a pretty good experience for the most part,” says Will Owen, a 24-year-old gay man who works at a marketing agency in New York City.“I haven’t been looking for a serious relationship in my early 20s.
I am saying is that always having a pocketful of other potentially ‘better' options (or so goes the lie we believe) at the touch of a button makes commitment incredibly hard on a person.And while no one is denying the existence of fuckboys, I hear far more complaints from people who are trying to find relationships, or looking to casually date, who just find that it’s not working, or that it’s much harder than they expected.“I think the whole selling point with dating apps is ‘Oh, it’s so easy to find someone,’ and now that I’ve tried it, I’ve realized that’s actually not the case at all,” says my friend Ashley Fetters, a 26-year-old straight woman who is an editor at The easiest way to meet people turns out to be a really labor-intensive and uncertain way of getting relationships.While the possibilities seem exciting at first, the effort, attention, patience, and resilience it requires can leave people frustrated and exhausted.“It only has to work once, theoretically,” says Elizabeth Hyde, a 26-year-old bisexual law student in Indianapolis.And now there are literally apps for capturing them. The problem isn't you but you don't have to feed into the problem by having a presence on those apps or by playing into the culture. The butterflies may have just landed somewhere else.So I log off for a second, delete the apps, and stop asking what's wrong with you when things don't work out.